Hello!
Joyce Massa of Phoenix, Arizona, credits her mother for getting her started with embroidery. Here is her story.
 “My 1st project was a pillowcase for my doll bed – it had yellow daisies. My Mother was an avid embroiderer and she taught me when I was about 7 years old.
I do cross stitch, punch needle, Hardanger, and embroidery but cross stitch is my favorite. I usually spend at least an hour a day and usually more on the weekends with my stitching.
Besides stitching, I enjoy reading – historical novels and current best-selling mysteries. I am a Retired Obstetrical nurse but recently went back to work for a company that audits Medicare/Medicaid charts for quality measurements.”
I asked Joyce if she had any “bits of wisdom” to share with you. She said, “I think taking the time to do the “little things” – like exact measurements for the center of your work, dampening threads to get the kinks out, and taping your material are so important and can’t be stressed enough.”
 When Joyce gives her stitched pieces away, she gets great reactions. “They are often surprised as I don’t always tell people I am sewing a project for them. Many say they are amongst their prized possessions now. For designers, I like By the Bay and Lizzie Kate currently. I love to work on Lugana fabric and always use DMC threads. Some years ago, my staff at the hospital pitched in and bought me a beautiful pair of stork scissors – a really good pair! I love those scissors and not only are they the greatest tool in my stitching bag, I always remember my friends who so generously gave them to me.
The largest piece I have ever stitched was an oversized floor pillow on Klostern 6 – a huge Santa face. I gave it to my best friend and she leaves it by her fireplace year around.
My husband and I own a home in Phoenix, Arizona, where we spend the winter months and we have a live-aboard boat in Newport, Oregon, where we spend the summer months. I have to say that the boat is the best place for me to do some serious needlework. My chair on the deck is perfect, and the natural lighting is great for tiny stitches. My view of the harbor is very calming and I am in “heaven” as I while away summer days with one project or another. I have found other boating “Moms” who also stitch, so we go ashore on shopping excursions that always include the local needlework stores. My “master plan” is to stitch Christmas gifts/projects during the summer when I am most productive, and have sent along a sample of my presents.
 I have learned so much from my sea-faring, needle-stitching friends. Many of them have sailed the seven seas - stitching all the way! And I have found that sewing is a universal language as they share their projects and pictures of sewing friends from around the world - satin stitches on wonderful silk material from the Orient, and heavy whip stitching on burlap from islands in the Pacific. I feel connected to these women in a way, and feel so privileged to have the experience and it is all thanks to the love of stitching that my mother passed on to me many years ago as I tediously stitched those little yellow daisies on the pillow for my beloved Emma-doll. Who knew it would become a lifetime hobby and salve for my soul? Thanks, Mom!”
Thank you, Joyce. Stitching on your boat sounds amazing!
The “mailbag” this week was filled with great letters on many topics. Two of them requested input from our readers so I will pass these on to you. Their email addresses are included for your response.
Hi Roz, Just wanted to let you know that I love the news letter and have just completed an order. I love to cross stitch! I have done a lot of almost completed items, but just finished a snowman from a “Just Cross Stitch” magazine design. He is so cute. I am now working on a Spring Bouquet design. I have spring fever. I have not done a lot of designs that you have, but am working on the Celtic Spring (its taking forever!). I have cross stitched since I was 20 and crocheted since 5. I am currently working on two afghans for my 2 daughters. One (16) loves to crochet and the other (11) is just starting to enjoy cross stitch. She is left handed and it is hard to teach her since I am right handed. Any hints for this? The cross stitch is easy to teach, but crochet is tough to teach to a left-hander.
Please write Rahno Brown if you have any suggestions on teaching a left-hander. raynobrown@yahoo.com.
Kathy Potts in Missouri has a project she would like some advice from you on, too.
She says, “I'm primarily a quilter, and a friend recently gave me some redwork squares that some area ladies did back in the 30's to 50's. Some are in bad shape and others are fine. The friend wanted to know if I could do anything with them. Some are in groups.....flowers, animals, birds, and others are singles or maybe 2 or 3 of a theme. I'm putting them together in assorted ways, but wish there was some way I could make them look better. The muslin they embroidered on is thin and the red thread really shows through where they jumped from one spot to another. I guess maybe I could do the same thing.....clip the thread close to the end of one 'object', and add a minute dab of glue to keep the end from traveling to the front. The threads showing through are a real eyesore to me. I'm machine piecing the projects, but using cotton batting and hand quilting everything. I don't know what my friend wants to do with these when I'm finished, but they're hers so it's up to her.
And that brings up another subject.......she is one of the few people I will do almost anything for. She's willing to wait until I have time to work her stuff in. As for other people, I tell them if there's no rush (and no money involved) it will be when I can get to it, even if it's 2 or 3 years. If they're paying me, like the 3 quilts I made for another friend to give for Christmas gifts, it's one thing. Freebies are at my discretion!”
Please write to Kathy with your suggestions on her Redwork project: cuwe46@yahoo.com
This past week I had many more suggestions as to what to do when friends or relatives ask you to stitch a piece for them and you really do not want to do that. Here are some more creative “ways out”.
16. Hi Roz, If someone asks me to stitch a piece for them and I do not want to do it I just explain that I am quite busy at the moment, but I would be more than willing to teach them how to do it for themselves! So we gain another stitcher, hopefully.
It is flattering that the person has asked for another piece, better than have them look at the original gift and either stuff it in a drawer or even worse, ask you what it is! (That was a wedding present, napkins with silver napkin rings), it really hurt, that one. But the saddest was the bride to be who asked for a table cloth in drawn fabric, so I started only to be told several weeks later that the whole wedding was off, she was too embarrassed to tell me herself, and I couldn't find the enthusiasm to finish the thing.
Regards
Kate in Fife, Scotland
17. Here's my suggestion to the stitcher who is feeling coerced into making yet another large wedding gift. She should tell the relative who asked that she just really can't do another piece for this particular occasion. I wouldn't offer any elaborate reasons or excuses, the less said, the better. She should let her know immediately. This is unbelievably inconsiderate of someone regardless of whether they are related or not. Unless you are another stitcher, you have no clue how much time and effort go into producing a finished piece. The only other thing I find more offensive is the feeble offer to pay you for your time. If that were the case, no one could afford it. I do machine embroidery, still learning, but I take a lot of pride in the finished product, so it usually takes me longer. A co-worker admired some burp cloths I made for a friend (another co-worker) and emailed me a request that went like this..."If I buy the pre-folded diapers, how much would you charge to embroider them for my grandson". The going rate at a local embroidery shop was $15 each and it would take 10 days. I am not friends with this co-worker and found her request to be bold and inconsiderate. My hobby time is extremely limited, some weeks I get no time at all to spend on it. My embroidery machine cost in excess of $5,500 in 2000. I declined her request and told her that I preferred to leave it as a hobby only because if I charged for my creations, it would become work. My husband who bought the machine for me as a gift feels the same way I do. Once you start charging for your work, then you open up doors for criticism and pressure to produce on someone else's schedule. No thanks. This co-worker was "miffed" for about a week, but she got over it. People who are non-stitchers have no concept of how time consuming and expensive a project really is.
Linda
18. No experience directly on this subject, Roz. Just umpteen years as a facilitator of group process in public schools from preschool through higher ed. Caring people are so afraid to "say no".....but we all need to learn how to express our own boundaries!
Still winter here in NH as well.......snow on snow on snow on ice on snow.
Dorrie
19. Hi, Roz - You asked for suggestions about how to handle requests from someone who wants you to stitch a large piece. But even a not-so-large piece can be time-consuming - more time than you want to give away!
My mother recently asked me to stitch her a piece that she could give as a gift to someone else. I told her it would be a long time before I could work it into my rotation. Also, the gift was for someone who is an Orthodox Jew, and my mom requested a religious piece, so I'd have to research what would be an appropriate design.
Then last month I was in a quilting store, and they had some specialty Judaic fabrics, so I bought enough to make a small but attractive table-runner. I can "whip" up the tablerunner in two afternoons, and that honors my mother's wish to give something special and meaningful to her friend but won't require a huge investment of my time. So sometimes sidestepping works! Listen for the request "behind" the request. It won't always work, but occasionally it will.
Sue
20. My best friend came up with a good option. Her sister wants a hand knitted lace shawl -
she liked the one my friend did for her mother. So they're swapping - a hand knitted lace
shawl for a king sized bed quilt. Both pay for their own materials but picked the colors.
I had a friend who wanted me to make her a Renaissance costume. She finished the latch hook Christmas tree skirt I was making while I made her costume.
Perhaps it's not crafts - but handmade jams or dinners, give the car a thorough wash& wax, help landscape the yard - something that gives value to both parties.
Remember the average cross stitcher stitches 1 inch square per hour. A large piece - 10 x 12 inches - is 120 hours.
Jillann
Minneapolis
21. Dear Roz - your question regarding a delicate way of telling a loved one that you cannot do another piece, or feel coerced into doing another piece.
My first grand-daughter came this last May - I wove a Nantucket Basket Cradle for her. Some people have no idea the work and detail that goes into a piece sometimes and have asked me to do another one for them. These pieces are not something to be mass produced.
My response is, "You know, I think in this lifetime I only have one piece like that in me. The inspiration was great to make the piece for (whatever occasion) i.e., your wedding, but that's just how special it is. I am so very flattered that you like it and would like an accompanying piece but I do not know if I am up to matching that piece and could do justice to the work needed to do so."
This really seems to work for me and it also lets them know what a feat and effort it is to do these pieces. Many people have so much talent and then there are those who do not. They cannot appreciate the time and patience put into our works. It is best to let them know gently but firmly and do not feel put upon to perform for their desires. We do this for relaxation, enjoyment and personal therapy - we should keep it that way!
My best to you all, I hope this is well said. Thanks for listening and God Bless!
Debbie C. in Chicago
22. Dear Roz,
How many of us have found ourselves in this sort of fix when we've been caught unawares??
Suggestion:
Keep it short but definite.
"I've tried to find the time and desire to take this project on, but after this long delay find I must decline it. I'm sorry I didn't let you know sooner but I thought it might work out. Unfortunately it didn't, and won't." She might add, "I know Tootsie will be delighted with the piece you did for her."
For this sort of situation in general, I got a great hint from my sister (a minister's wife, so you can imagine the things she's asked to do!) who suggests, when cornered, to say, "Let me think about that." That gives you some breathing space to decide if it's something you might like to do, or instead of giving someone a flat no, to say, "I've checked my obligations and found it's not something I can do [or do justice to, etc.]."
The "Let me think about that" is useful in a lot of situations, for instance if someone wants advice or your opinion on something and you want to be diplomatic: "Let me think about that instead of giving you a pat answer[or knee-jerk reaction]."
If it's something you're pretty sure you aren't up to or don't want to do, you might set the stage for a refusal without sounding brusque by saying, "I don't think it's something I can take on, but let me give it some thought," then get back with your reply ASAP to be considerate. If someone presses you, reiterate, "I'm sorry, but no."
It helps to express regret but not be overly apologetic. Hope these help.
Best, Craig in California
23. What do you do if a close relative or friend keeps asking you to stitch a large project for her?
I'd suggest saying "gosh, I'm sorry but I have enough projects already in my stash that I'll be able to work on them in heaven" (since that's probably the truth). Then perhaps offer to have a "stitch in" to get the other person enthused enough to tackle the item on their own.
Lisa Petersen
24. Give all of the supplies - packaged up with a pretty bow - to the friend or relative. Tell her you know how much she wants the companion piece, and offer to give her a couple of lessons.
CJ
25. Roz,
This is a hard one, since we are all programmed not to hurt some one else's feelings.
I am learning to knit, just since this past July, and have made hats and scarves in wonderfully warm alpaca yarn for the ladies at our auction house, (which is an expensive yarn) and all bought with my minimal weekly funds. I loved every minute of it and got comfortable with double pointed needles in the process. I love circular needles for the hats as you can just knit, knit, knit.
I finally had enough time after Christmas to do a set for me, as my husband commented that "there was something wrong" with the fact that I hadn't had time to make one for myself for the cold weather.
I then picked out some yarn to knit a shrug for myself, something I have always wanted to have. Something I could wear that I made to keep my shoulders and kidney area warm. As I was finishing it up on Saturday night, one of the ladies said that she would love a knitted poncho. I was rather panicky and floored at her request.
Knowing that my knitting time is not as much as I would like and I would like to choose the next project to do, I panicked. I finally told her that even though I knew how to increase and decrease, I didn't know how to do an opening for the neckline/head.
I told her I could teach her how to knit (with my minimal knitting experience since last July, LOL) and she could try it herself. She replied that "Oh no, she could never do it because of the painful carpal tunnel she has". She said that even hanging out clothes made her hands numb and painful. So that is where the conversation stalled, and then I showed her the exercise I do for my carpal tunnel pains to relieve those awful numb fingers and hands.
Later when she had gone, I mentioned this to my husband and how upset I was and told him that from now on, I want to choose the things I want to do, not have to do something for someone else unless I really want to do it.
Perhaps, she can say that she has a rule that she only stitches only one large project for a person because of the immense time involvement, but that she would be more than happy to show her how to stitch the project this person wants to have, and tell her that she would donate the fabric, pattern and floss to get her started. Maybe then they could even make it a 'stitching night' for just the two of them once a month, every two weeks or once a week. A ladies night, so to speak, with a special dinner and dessert for just the two of them with each one alternating the place and dinner.
Just a thought.
I was so unhappy that this person, a good friend, thought I would just drop everything to do a large knitted poncho for her, and seeing that she is a very tall, large person, it would take an inordinate amount of time, and I would be growling the whole time. I like to do smaller projects for now to get the feeling of accomplishment when they are done since I am so new to knitting. I want to learn new techniques with the help of the yarn store staff when it is in a project I want to do, and they feel that it wouldn't be too far out for me to learn it.
Hope my comments help. We all have been in this situation and can find no graceful way out. Perhaps someone will come up with a wonderful answer that we can all use. I would love to know how to gracefully decline requests like that.
As I mentioned above, this lady's request for the knitted poncho just floored me. I feel as though I just muddled through the refusal.
Love and Major Huggs,
Cait J.
I still have a few more to share next week. Thank you for sending me your suggestions, if they haven’t already been given, to rozw@nordicneedle.com
Here are three more letters from our readers on the topic of What Needlework Means to Me. If you would like to share, and I hope you do, write to me and tell me what needlework means in your life. rozw@nordicneedle.com
94. Dear Roz,
I have been receiving your newsletter for some time now, and enjoy so much the stories as to why we stitch. I always mean to write, and simply never seem to find (or make ) the time to do so. However, after reading Victoria’s story in the latest newsletter, I had to write.
She expressed so eloquently the way I feel as I stitch also. I learned to sew around age 7 at the knee of my grandmother (Mammaw) during a summer in central Texas. My dad was stationed at Fort Hood, and I came down with scarlet fever – during the summer. This was during the mid 60’s, and we did not have air conditioning, so Mammaw took it upon herself to distract me in my misery by teaching me to sew. I embroidered many hankies and dresser scarves that summer, and moved on from there to making baby doll clothes, Barbie clothes and eventually my own clothes; and then those of my children.
Since that time I taught myself to crochet, knit, quilt and cross stitch. Cross stitching and quilting are my hands down favorite, and have saved my sanity more times than I can count. I always have at least 4 or 5 projects going, and currently am working on quilting (by hand) a king size quilt for my husband and me. Most of my projects become gifts for friends and family, although I am beginning to frame and display some. My latest innovation is combining my love of both cross stitch and quilting by “framing” the cross stitch pieces in quilted patchwork.
I, too, spend the golden silence time of my stitching in prayer and contemplation. I have prayed my way through many trying situations – including ending an abusive marriage, going through divorce, raising children as a single mother, and now am able to pray for my wonderful “new” husband and our marriage, our combined children and my acquired grandchildren. My husband “retired” from his second 20 + year career this past February, and has since “returned” to college – so I have found some “new” golden time for stitching and prayer. I have taught my own two daughters (now 23 and 21) to stitch, and they also have found it to be relaxing and a means of centering and focusing on the things of this life that are so important.
Thank you so much for the time, thought and energy put into your newsletters and your online store.
Blessings,
Vicki M. in Nebraska
95. Hello Roz,
My first stitching project began when I was in first grade. I was home from school with strep throat and my Aunt Ann came over to stay with me while my Mom went to a meeting. Aunt Ann brought a kitchen towel with a knife, fork and spoon stamped on it and a whole hank of RED floss. She taught me the beginning outline stitch. It took me years to get the towel finished. You could see the progress and skill gained as the towel was completed. When it was finished I gave it back to Aunt Ann and she had forgotten she gave it to me.
Now at age 70, I sew, knit, embroider, cross stitch, and do Hardanger embroidery. Doris
96. Hi! I can relate to the story from Nicole R. from Leominster, MA. People are always telling me that they don't know where I find the time to do the crafts I do. I tell them that I MAKE the time because cross stitching, needlepoint and knitting are my rest and relaxation. I stitch or knit while watching TV or listening to audio books. I can never just sit and watch TV. I HAVE to have something going in my hands. I stitch or knit in the car (and thank my DH all the time for doing all the driving on long trips!), on a plane or in the airport, doctor's office, work at lunch time, anywhere I can! It's just such a part of me.
My Mom bought me a cross stitch/embroidery kit when I was in my 20's and I stitched it up when I had my first child and stayed home (at 26). I loved it so much that I started looking for other cross stitch kits and my addiction took off from there! About 8 years ago, I decided to try my hand at needlepoint and I now have a canvas stash almost as big as my cross stitch stash (not quite though as I have a MILLION cross stitch charts, books and magazines!). I enjoy both equally. I did some knitting and crocheting years ago, but wasn't that crazy about it. But in the past few years, I have picked up knitting again and am loving it. My knitting stash is going to need its own room soon! I really enjoy making gifts for family and friends, which I have done many times over the years. I have also done some sewing, especially when my daughter was younger, and ventured into quilting for a time but didn't enjoy either of those as much as the stitching and knitting. I give my Mom credit for the love of crafts as she was always knitting, crocheting or sewing her own clothes. She loves when I show her something I've made. I guess she feels that she's passed the legacy on to me. I have taught my daughter how to stitch and rug hook (which is another craft that I did years ago) and she made me an absolutely beautiful and meaningful cross stitch for my 50th birthday. Two years later, I still look at it every day and read it and get tears in my eyes. She is not as crazy a stitcher as I am, but I hope that I have passed the legacy on to her.
Daryl
Long Island, NY
In my last newsletter we asked the question, “How do we prevent dark carry-over threads from showing through the fabric when we frame the piece?” Here are some (5) of your answers and I thank you for your input. (I received 29 suggestions so far.) Thank you for sharing but I don’t think I need any more suggestions on this topic.
1. Show-through can be controlled quite well by having the framer line the piece when framing. I've stretched many a piece with this problem for my LNS's frame shop, and a piece of muslin in a medium-dark neutral color (grey, tan, etc.) stretched firmly across the foam core usually solves the problem. On occasion, I've used color, such as maroon for a piece stitched on a low-count fabric (think burlap texture) with DMC 814 perle cotton--the wink of color through the fabric actually enhanced the piece and the carryovers "disappeared." It helps to play a bit with the lining fabric to find what will enhance the original color of the stitched piece and do the job in hiding the straying threads on the back. If tails are cut long on the back, a large tapestry needle does a good job in tucking them under after the piece has been stretched.
I enjoy your newsletter, and never more than tonight! It is the wee small hours in Texas and there is a storm front moving through--not the easiest time to sleep!
TC,
Bitsy B
2. Try mounting your picture or whatever with dark (close in color to the problem) fabric or mat board behind it. It may disappear. Of course, we shouldn't carry that thread across a blank area, but we all do sometimes.
3. Dear Roz, I have found an answer from Marion Scoular's book "Advice is..." that has worked very well for me.
I have found this book is full of great advice, and I use it quite regularly!
Cheryl in Windsor, CA
4. All your efforts that go into the newsletter are greatly appreciated. Really look forward to it each week. Thank you.
In response to (Ms) Craig, what I do is (first the obvious and I agree it's sometimes almost impossible) avoid 'jumping' to another letter. When I do have threads showing through I just use a beige or similar backing when it's to be framed. Using white is NOT forgiving at all. It works for me.
Phyllis M.
5. Just a quick reply to Ms Craig's query - I'm afraid that there is no option but to finish off every single letter or number, and start afresh on the next if she is only using one strand of floss. This does require some self-discipline, I admit! If the letters or numbers are stitched in two strands, the "loop method" of starting is invaluable, though she will still have to start each letter anew. In case she doesn't know this trick, the idea is to cut a longer, single strand, fold it in half and thread the two ends through the needle, then, beginning from below the fabric make the first stitch, and when the needle goes back through the fabric, catch it in the loop left behind. (Does that make sense? I know what I mean and use this method all the time, whether for lettering or just cross-stitch.)
Another idea would be to leave the letters till last, then back the work with iron-on interfacing before doing the letters using a sharp needle, which should, in theory, hide the darker thread.
Hope this helps,
Love, Lynne
In England
Happy Early Easter to you and your family! I suppose many will enjoy a delicious ham dinner on Sunday and you will be wondering what to do with the leftover ham. Here is a great recipe for a breakfast casserole that includes ham.
Breakfast Casserole
- 4 c. French bread, cubed
- 3 c. ham, diced
- one-half c. sliced mushrooms
- one-fourth c. finely chopped onions
- one-fourth c. finely chopped green peppers
- one-half lb. grated American cheese
- 6 eggs
- 4 tsp. flour
- 1 1/2 tsp. dry mustard
- dash of Tabasco sauce
- 4 c. milk
- 4 Tbls. melted butter
- Salt and pepper to taste
Layer bread, ham, mushrooms, onion, green pepper and cheese in a 9"x13" greased baking pan. Pour over the remaining ingredients which have been beaten together in order given. Refrigerate in covered pan. Bake 1 hour at 300 degrees.
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